WISDOM FROM PROVERBS (Proverbs 29:15)

December 3, 2024 EMMANUEL ADEBAYO AJIBOLA

Proverbs 29:15: The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.

This Bible verse explains the critical role of discipline and guidance in raising children, emphasising the connection between parental involvement and a child’s development of wisdom and character. The “rod” is a symbol of correction and discipline. In ancient times, it often referred to a shepherd’s tool used to guide sheep, ensuring they stayed on the right path. Similarly, the “rod” in this context represents corrective actions parents use to teach their children right from wrong. Discipline, when done with love and care, helps instil boundaries and respect for rules, shaping a child’s understanding of consequences.

Alongside physical discipline, “reproof” refers to verbal correction—teaching, advising, and explaining why certain behaviours are wrong. This involves not just punishment but also nurturing the child with wisdom, helping them to understand the reasoning behind the rules and consequences. When discipline and instruction are applied together, they guide a child toward wisdom. This wisdom is not merely intellectual but practical and moral, enabling the child to make sound decisions and live in a way that aligns with righteous principles.

A “child left to himself” is a child who is not given proper guidance, correction, or attention. This neglect allows the child to grow up without understanding boundaries, accountability, or respect for others. Without discipline, they may indulge in selfishness, laziness, or rebellion.

In biblical times, the mother was often the primary carer, deeply invested in the upbringing of her children. When a child grows up without discipline and develops destructive habits, it reflects poorly on the mother and causes her sorrow and shame. This shame is not only public, as others may judge her for failing in her parental role, but also deeply personal, as she sees the negative path her child has taken.

While the verse highlights the mother, the shame extends to the family and community as well. A child’s unruly behaviour can disrupt relationships, dishonour their family, and harm their own future, demonstrating the far-reaching consequences of neglecting discipline.

This verse teaches that parenting requires a balance of love, correction, and consistent involvement. Discipline should never be harsh or abusive but should be rooted in care and a desire to guide the child toward a fruitful life.

Proverbs 29:15 reminds parents of their sacred responsibility to actively shape their children’s lives through both discipline and instruction. A child who is left without guidance risks growing into someone who causes distress and sorrow, not only to their parents but also to themselves and others. By investing time, love, and correction into their upbringing, parents help their children gain the wisdom necessary for a life of purpose and honour.

A parent who avoids correcting a child out of a misunderstanding of love misses the true essence of what love entails. Hebrews 12:5–6 reminds us that God, our heavenly Father, disciplines His children because He loves them. The passage states: “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son whom he receives.”

Children require loving guidance, including appropriate discipline, to help them avoid greater harm later in life (Proverbs 3:11; 13:24; 15:5; 22:15). Discipline, when done with care, is not an act of anger but an expression of love that seeks to protect and teach.

However, these biblical principles do not justify cruelty or abusive behaviour. Discipline should always be proportionate to the offence and administered in a way that ensures the child understands the reason behind it, fostering growth and learning. Paul emphasises this balance in Ephesians 6:4, instructing fathers not to “provoke [their] children to anger,” but to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

There is an adage that says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.“ Without discipline, children are more likely to engage in harmful behaviour, hurting themselves and others in the process. This can lead to sorrow and shame for their parents. Effective discipline is an essential part of nurturing children into responsible, wise, and loving individuals.